Sunday, April 11, 2010

Sunday in the Park with Nobody

After watching Julie & Julia last night I decided that I could totally relate to both women on different levels. Julie because she was bored with her life and it hadn't turned out the way she always envisioned and Julia because she wanted more than was thought able by a woman in her time.

Both managed to do something pretty neat. Julia- introduce generations of Americans to French cooking, and Julie- meet her own goal. Both admirable and both hard to attain.

I also would love to know why I can't do that? Why can't I set some type of goal and reach it? Why is everything so hard? Is it me self-sabotaging or is it some reaching arm of the cosmos telling me that I've really pissed somebody off somewhere- though who and where are unknown as of now.

The job prospect looks very bleak at this time and I'm actually considering moving again. I moved back to this area to be close to family, though right now, we're a bit too close by being in the same home. However, I can't not work for another year. I love teaching and just can't fathom another career. What does an almost 40 year old do for a new career? Ideas? I'll take any suggestions.

Any suggestions are also welcome so I can deal with my mother and her negative attitude, constant nagging, and complaining. I don't know what her problem is lately- but I'm ready to snap. And not in a good way.

Anyway- maybe my goal can be lose a pound a week for the next 15 weeks or cook only "healthy" meals for the next 2 weeks, figure out my role in the "food revolution" proposed by Jamie Oliver....Maybe turn my notes on my daughter's adoption into a cohesive read? I guess there are possibilities out there if I can figure out what I can really do and perhaps really attain it. I guess only time will tell.

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