Sunday, December 4, 2011

Too Funny!

Okay, as an educator- 2nd grade teacher for years... I can soooo understand this and find it very funny! Anybody who is still with me, I hope you enjoy it....

The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Emily, a very bright, very outgoing kid,takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'

'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Emily puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.' (Then Emily lies down with her back against the wall.)

'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)

'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe.
They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there in the first place.'

Then Emily stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.

I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's Show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

another month gone

Well, it looks like another month gone. August has faded into the memory as an incredibly hot summer that ended way too early with back to school being a week earlier than usual. I still don't understand the logic of going back so early, but I guess NCLB crap is to blame partially.

I've started subbing again and am hoping for a lot of work. I need the work. Getting out of the house and money are wonderful motivators. I only wish that I could win the lottery. Things wouldn't be perfect, but they would be so much simpler if I didn't have to worry about the financial aspect of life every day.

Today, I suppose is a day of reflection for many. 9/11 altered life in these United States as no other tragedy has since Pearl Harbor in December of 1941. Remembering where I was on that day has me teaching in an inner-city school in Dallas. I had recently gotten a referral for my Pipsqueak whom I adopted from India. I remember thinking if my adoption would be delayed because of 9/11. (It was, but for other reasons). I remember my fellow teachers and I talking about the ramifications of that day and the fact that we were all in a type of shock that anyone would do that.... Ten years later I don't know if things are better or worse.

I refuse to fly now. It just isn't worth the cost to put myself through the abuse of the TSA. I look at countries such as Israel and how their airports are some of the safest in the world. I think we need to take lessons.

The Pipsqueak has been home since 2002 and I can't believe she's almost 11. I guess life goes on; as it should.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Happy to see this

Anna Mae He has finally been allowed to visit the U.S. again. I am so happy for her and her American family.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

a poem

S my name is summer.
Summer at the lake
Summer with heat index
Summer with no a/c

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Anybody there?

Hey all or to the one person that I know still checks this blog on a regular basis, Hello.

It's been a few months since the last post, okay 4 months, but what are you going to do when things seem to spin out of control with no hope of getting off the ride?

As a friend once said "stop the world, I want to get off"

Anyway-- we are into the full summer break now and still no f/t teaching jobs coming my way. I am now researching how to become a mediator for the union. I know I'd enjoy it and think I'd be pretty good at it. Always nice to have possibilities.

The Pipsqueak is growing up so fast. I can't believe she's 10 already. She recently got her hair cut and it's such a cute bob, but boy am I going to be beating the boys away in a few years. I told her she can't date until she's 30- but she's not buying that. Ah, a mother can hope, right?

Life with my almost deaf mother is status quo. Things are better, then worse, then better. I think after we can get a lot of junk cleaned out that we no longer need, things will be better. I wish I could restore some of her hearing though... it's hard living with an almost deaf individual with no way to talk. She never learned sign growing up and now is reluctant to try and start. I think the Pipsqueak and I should learn though. You never know what life might throw at you and if we could "speak" ASL it might help encourage my mom to learn it.

I'm also loving the new show "Switched at Birth"- a guilty pleasure I an adoptive mom, it makes you really think of a lot of stuff regarding your child.

Okay- gonna head off now as I have a lot of stuff to do around here. Heading to the lake next weekend, but not this one. Thought we'd give my mom a break and let her have some alone time.

Hopefully I'll be better about updating the blog. Maybe I can find my wonderful sarcastic wit once again in my writing.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

I Read Banned Books

I've just been looking at the top banned books from the 1990s-2000. The top 100 is quite the list and there are some books that I can't for the life of me even reason why they would be on the list.

The top 100 list can be found here Out of those- here are the ones I have read.
3. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
4. The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
5. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
6. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
7. Harry Potter (Series) by J.K. Rowling***
8. Forever by Judy Blume
9. Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
11. Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman
12. My Brother Sam is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier
16. Goosebumps (Series) by R.L. Stine
22. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle**
26. The Stupids (Series) by Harry Allard
27. The Witches by Roald Dahl
29. Anastasia Krupnik (Series) by Lois Lowry
32. Blubber by Judy Blume
37. The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood
38. Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George
40. What's Happening to my Body? Book for Girls: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Daughters by Lynda Madaras
41. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee*
43. The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton
46. Deenie by Judy Blume
47. Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
51. A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein
56. James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
62. Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret by Judy Blume
68. The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline Cooney
78. Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume
84. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
88. Where's Waldo? by Martin Hanford
89. Summer of My German Soldier by Bette Greene
90. Little Black Sambo by Helen Bannerman
96. How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell

*This book is my favourite book of all time.
** I've read the entire series of the Murray family and love them all.
***I've read all the books from JK Rowling about the Harry Potter universe and love them as well.

So to all readers out there- if I have any left.... Go read a banned book and enjoy!

Life Sucks

Life sucks.

I have a meeting tomorrow afternoon that I can't cancel. Due to this stupid meeting, I can't take a sub job that's open.

I really need the money- but nothing ever seems to go my way. Might as well scream now.

Let's just hope there are a ton of jobs open next week. I'd love to work as much as possible.

My the gods work with me.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Long overdue update

I can't believe it's been so long since I've posted here. I guess it's because I seem to be in a holding pattern. No job, no prospects, still circling the airport so to speak and nothing has changed.

Still worried about money- how to pay insurance- how to get the kid new clothes, etc... I know it could be worse- but it's amazing how one's self-worth can be tied up with your job or lack of one.

Maybe I'll start posting regularly.. just venting or trying to see things from a different vantage point would help.