Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Great meatballs

These meatballs were great and so easy to make.

1 pound Italian turkey sausages casings removed
1 pound Italian chicken sausages (I used park farm brand) casings removed
2 cups Jiffy mix (Bisquik would probably work too)
2 cups Italian blend cheese

Mix together and bake at 350 until done.

We really enjoyed them and hopefully I can find the chicken sausage again before the holidays.


I had a job interview today. It was for a charter school and basically was an interview to see if I'd "fit in" to their school.

I passed the first hurdle and will be called soon about going back and meeting the sub coordinator. After that is done- I might be called to sub (yeah) or I might be called to fill in an available job (YEAH).

Wish me luck!

Monday, October 25, 2010

Horror in Oklahoma -if you're an older man & his dog

A man in Hydro, OK broke his dog out of the pound using a riding lawn mower and a pair of bolt cutters. The 73 year old man decided to bust Buddy Tough out of the pound when the dog was picked up and a $100.00 fine was issued.

It seems to me that this man didn't have the $100.00 to pay the fine- was told his dog would be killed, and felt he had no choice.

What really, really bothers me about this- is that while Fry was in jail- they killed his dog. That's right- they killed a lap poodle. Because his owner screwed up- they punished the dog. Mr. Fry needed to post $100.00 of a $1000.00 bail and couldn't do it. If he couldn't pay his own bond, how did they expect him to pay that much to get his dog out of jail?

Please go and read the full article here; I wish I could do more than write a letter to the pound in Hydro (town of about 1060 people) and the officer that told Fry he would kill his dog.

What they did was wrong. Yes, Mr. Fry should have kept his dog on a leash- but to kill the dog for this is a bit too much.

Monday, October 11, 2010


Okay- I just stumbled upon some pictures that a neighbour down the street posted of her family. My Pipsqueak is in a few of the photos because she is good friends with their daughter.

I don't really want Pipsqueak's image on the internet.... any ideas of how to tell her tactfully to take down the images of my kid?

It also makes me wonder if others have put photos of her up without telling me. I would never post a picture of someone else's kid (at least the face) without asking first.


Sunday, September 19, 2010


Yet again- no job. I interviewed, did well. Got the phone call today- keep trying you did well, we could use you,... yada yada... Then why didn't you hire me?!

I'm so disappointed and pissed.

Life sucks. Everything sucks.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

I hate it here

I hate my living situation more than I can tell you. I want to move so badly.

My parents drive me nuts. My mother bitches contantly about how nobody does a damn thing around here or helps out. I'd like to ask her who the hell buys all the damn groceries and cooks in this place? I don't even have a job and waste my unemployment (which is over) on groceries for people who don't appreciate any of it.

We went to customer appreciation at a local meat market yesterday. I bought something just for me- pizza summer sausage. Even told my mother about it yesterday. I never get anything- no new clothes for I don't know how many years, no movies, no eating out, nothing. I do this one little thing for myself and she f*cking throws the summer sausage away today because she "didn't recognize" it in the meat drawer. WTF????

I am so angry! I snapped, screaming, yelling, crying. I know it wasn't done on purpose, but part of me feels like it was- maybe even subconsciously to get us to leave. Maybe the Pipsqueak and I do need to move away again- to where ever I can get a job. F*ck family at this point.

I am just so tired. Tired of no job. Tired of no income. Tired of everything.

And to top it off I'm so missing my grandmother right now. We were very close and I just wish she was around right now. She's the only one who ever made me feel safe and like I could do anything. I miss her more than anything and wish I could hug her one more time. No matter what she could make "it" better.

I want to be alone on a deserted island right now. Just me (and maybe the Pipsqueak) and nothing to deal with, no stress, nothing. Just relaxing time. That never happens anymore. Hell, I haven't been alone in almost 5 years. Try that on for size. I'm never alone here. Ever.

Okay- enough bitching. I just needed to vent. I think I'll go nurse this headache and be anti-social for a few days.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Deaf Rapper

I just found out about this guy from Detroit. His name is Sean Forbes and he's a deaf rapper. He just signed a contract with Emin*ms label.

His website is here and you can see his rap- "I'm Deaf".

He's the first rapper after Queen Latifah that I've ever liked.


Monday, June 21, 2010

Unemployment extention letter

Here's a copy of a letter I sent to U.S. minority leader Mitch McConnell. I don't expect a response. I don't expect him to "get" my sarcasm or my feelings.

However, it made me feel better writing it and so I'm posting it here because it'll make me feel a tad better too.

Mr. McConnell,
I'd like to thank you for really showing our country the way. Today I'm trying to figure out how to pay my bills without unemployment benefits because you decided not to agree to extending them.

I am a highly qualified unemployed teacher in the state of _____. I have been trying in vain to find employment for an entire year.

I am also a single mother who has moved in with my parents because I can't live in this economy on my own anymore.

I would prefer to stay off of welfare. I was not raised to utilize the government in this way, but I am not going to have a choice if unemployment is not extended.

I am trying to figure out how to pay almost $500 a month in health insurance for myself and my daughter when I have no income anymore. How to help my parents pay for the extra groceries, how to pay for eye exams and dental bills, not to mention car insurance and just everyday costs of living.

What do you suggest I do Senator? There are hundreds of teachers out of work competing with me for jobs.

I am scared. Scared because I see no options. Our jobs have left the country, so we don't have as many students. I don't see the job situation getting better and moving is not what I want to do. My child is established here in school, my family is here, but I may not have a choice. The only problem is... there aren't enough jobs anywhere else in this country either and I'm only certified to teach in two states.

So- again, I'd like to thank you Senator. For not doing the right thing for people like me. For not caring that unemployed Americans vote. We do vote.

Maybe next election you'll become one of the unemployed- but then you still won't have the fear we "regular" people have. After all, you'll have all the perks from your career long after it's over.

Oh and Senator there may not be "Hoovervilles" anymore, but don't be surprised to see "McConnellvilles" coming to your nearest bridge sometime in the near future.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Life sucks

What a day! Flag day and my bday. I'm in the most unbirthday mood of my entire life I believe.

I'm unemployed, broke, and have parents that will be tapped out by December. The economy has hit everyone hard and I really don't know what I will do if I don't get a job. I want to teach, good gods I want to teach! I can't even get an interview for the few openings there are. It's depressing to say the least.

I have no ideas for what to do at my age for a new career- I refuse to go back to school and garner any debt.... I don't know if I'm cut out to be an administrator... I feel confused and upset and really would love to turn back the hands of time so I could warn myself of this and give myself the winning lotto numbers or something.

Congress has no idea how normal people live anymore. They had enough time to talk about baseball when they were supposed to be debating unemployment extentions. It must be nice when you can ignore the people you are supposed to be working for to consider the wonders of a baseball prodigy that will never again have to worry about finances. How very nice for you. How very awful for me and the other 900,000 or so individuals who depend on that pittance of an unemployment check to feed our childern and pay our bills.

I am trying not to keep the anger and bitterness, but it is hard to let go. I don't know where to go and what to do with my emotions as I feel like a time bomb as of late. I just want to "go off" and make folks feel as bad as I do-- impress on them just how scary it is to be the working poor. Try telling your kid over and over and over again that we "can't" afford to much of anything... no zoo pass this year (we're both upset about that one), no trips to anyplace that require money getting in... art museum (which was promised), science museum, the mall (try taking a 9 year old to the mall and not spend money).

I am trying to stay positive and get myself in gear to fill out job applications for any district within an hour's drive. It's hard to be motivated to do so, but I must- for it's the only shot I have at maybe one day supporting my kid.

I don't want to move- I may not have a choice.

Wish me luck.

Saturday, April 24, 2010


Now she wants a port-a-potty so she doesn't have to go to the bathroom because 'it's too far'... omgosh I am so ready to take her back to the nurses.. this is nuts!

Friday, April 23, 2010

Finally Friday!

Well- my week of running back and forth from home to hospital to school is finally over.

My mother came home yesterday and is still pretty weak. She's on a few meds- one for her heart, antibiotics too- oh and a pretty new nebulizer to help her breath.

I think we may make it.....

Monday, monday- can't trust that day......

What a week! Let's see, where to begin....

First- Monday. More specifically Monday around 2:15 pm. My mother has been having trouble breathing all day- she finally relents to go to the ER. Trouble is it's time to pick up the Pipsqueak from school.

My father and I decide that I'll go with her and he can pick up the kid. I lost that round.

The ER
Let's discuss the ER shall we? First and foremost- why must one wait so long to be seen. Don't get me wrong- I'm in a small town and we were actually back in the ER part rather than the waiting room within 30 minutes. Thirty minutes where my mother sat in a wheelchair wheezing because she couldn't catch her breath.... but I digress.

It seemed to take forever for the doctor to see her and apparently 170-190 beats a minute is a tad fast for the heart... so, hooked up to heart monitors too.

The doc finally comes in (nice guy btw) and looks at her chart- asks what's been going on- finds out more drugs she can't take (side effects/allergies) and then goes to decide his course of treatment now that 95% of available drugs are off the table.

The nurse comes in to put in an I.V... my mother has very deep veins. Very hard to find... see where this is going?

Picture it- hospital ER, one ER nurse, IV equipment, and a wheezing woman on a hospital gurney who can't get comfortable. Then picture 3 jabs later and no I.V. attached yet.

Try 2- new nurse- other arm.... same results- blood everywhere- patient in major pain, no I.V.

Try 3- another nurse. She looks like she can't see well- coke bottle glasses, squinting, and hunched over. Great Quasimodo's cousin is going to try this. More pokes, yells, blood and no I.V.

Try 4- bring in the cute EMT guy- we'll call him "K". He tried, he tried so hard.. in the end- he too was defeated by my mother's veins...

Try 5- 30 minutes into the I.V. debacle- bring in the mad scientist otherwise known as the anesthesiologist. I kid you not he reminded me of the guy on the pictures of those science kits- Einstein hair, etc....

Success at last- only took 35 minutes, 3 nurses, one EMT, and the anesthesiologist.

Lovely. I can tell what's going to happen from here on out.

There were Xrays- they bring the machine to you now buy the way- kinda cool...

Diagnosis- pneumonia and rapid heart rate. Joy and rapture. (read sarcasm there)

We've waited about 90 minutes by this point- doc finally comes in and says he's waiting for all the blood work to come back.

Two minutes later we are visited by the blood fairy. Only instead of giving you something- she takes something. She took one look at mom's arms and hands (I.V. was in low wrist) and turns white. I ask for "L". A wonderful lady who can draw blood from my mother and me on the first try- with little pain.

20 minutes later L comes down and does her thing- takes about 5 vials of blood and then we wait 60 more minutes for all blood results to come in.

Doc finally tells us mom is being admitted into ICU for the night. Goes to right order. We wait again.

Another 20 minutes or so and she's finally moved upstairs to ICU and I head home to fill everyone in.


The Pipsqueak was upset, but okay in the long run. I was exhausted. My father went to the hospital with some of my mother's stuff that she wanted and the dog was confused.

Thank the gods for pizza delivery.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Sunday in the Park with Nobody

After watching Julie & Julia last night I decided that I could totally relate to both women on different levels. Julie because she was bored with her life and it hadn't turned out the way she always envisioned and Julia because she wanted more than was thought able by a woman in her time.

Both managed to do something pretty neat. Julia- introduce generations of Americans to French cooking, and Julie- meet her own goal. Both admirable and both hard to attain.

I also would love to know why I can't do that? Why can't I set some type of goal and reach it? Why is everything so hard? Is it me self-sabotaging or is it some reaching arm of the cosmos telling me that I've really pissed somebody off somewhere- though who and where are unknown as of now.

The job prospect looks very bleak at this time and I'm actually considering moving again. I moved back to this area to be close to family, though right now, we're a bit too close by being in the same home. However, I can't not work for another year. I love teaching and just can't fathom another career. What does an almost 40 year old do for a new career? Ideas? I'll take any suggestions.

Any suggestions are also welcome so I can deal with my mother and her negative attitude, constant nagging, and complaining. I don't know what her problem is lately- but I'm ready to snap. And not in a good way.

Anyway- maybe my goal can be lose a pound a week for the next 15 weeks or cook only "healthy" meals for the next 2 weeks, figure out my role in the "food revolution" proposed by Jamie Oliver....Maybe turn my notes on my daughter's adoption into a cohesive read? I guess there are possibilities out there if I can figure out what I can really do and perhaps really attain it. I guess only time will tell.

Friday, April 9, 2010


This makes me sick: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/36322282/ns/world_news-europe

A woman who adopted a 7 year old boy from Russia in September put him on a plane and sent him back to Moscow. She says he had turned violent. However, this behavior didn't happen until after a January visit by a social worker who said there were no issues.

Hey lady! He's legally adopted- he's a U.S. citizen now.... get help for him in this country or turn him over to child services if you no longer want him.

I'm not saying he didn't have problems- more than likely he did. He's a post institutionalized kid. I don't think the parent was prepared for this or for parenting an older child from an orphanage. Makes me sick that folks like this are able to adopt then do something like this to the child.

Though it's not the first time or the first country it's happened to.

Even Dutch diplomats do it: http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1695735,00.html

at least she has a happy ending:

Sunday, March 28, 2010


Email not working on this end! Trying to fix. If not- will have to go it alone.

Monday, March 1, 2010


How can congress justify not passing unemployment extention benefits?? How??

I had about 6 weeks left and was planning to put most of that money back. I am now screwed. I thought I'd at least get this week's benefits. I don't think it's going to happen.

What am I supposed to do now? There are no jobs. I have tried to sub, but again- no jobs. Teachers aren't taking off.

I'm panicked. Totally panicked.

I honestly don't know what to do to support my child.

I wish I could tell you what I'd like to do to that Republican filibuster though.

Friday, February 19, 2010


A recent update on Anna Mae He. My heart breaks for this family.

I would also like to slap her "father" Jack He upside his head. He seems to be a cruel man- abusing his wife and denying Anna her passport. I would also like to know why the state dept. won't issue Anna Mae a new one.

I am glad the Bakers are still in her life and Casey wants to send Anna Mae back for visits. I wonder if Anna will move back to the states when she is 18. Maybe the state dept. will issue her another passport by then. It's ridiculous that they won't do it now.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Meat Loaf

Meat Loaf. Not the singer. The food. I made a great meatloaf tonight based on a recipe from *The Pioneer Woman.

Feel free to try it out if you like. If you do try it- post and let me know if you liked it.

For the Meatloaf
1 1/2 lb. ground hamburger

4 slices of bread

3/4 cup milk

3/4 - 1 cup Parmesan cheese (I used K*aft brand)

salt, pepper, garlic powder, paprika, cumin, and onion powder to taste. I probably used about 1/4 tsp. of salt and 1/2 tsp. to 1 tsp. of the others

2 eggs, beaten

thin strips of bacon

1. Tear up bread and soak in milk for few minutes in a small bowl
2. Put hamburger and all other ingredients in a large bowl together
3. Pour eggs over hamburger mixture and mix together well with your hands.
4. Spray a 9 x 14 pan
5. Pour meat mixture into the pan and shape into a loaf.
6. Put sauce on meatloaf
7. Lay bacon on top of meatloaf (you can wrap it under if you like)
8. Put more sauce on bacon
9. Bake for 1 hour at 350 degrees F

For the sauce
1. Ketchup
2. Dry mustard
3. Light soy sauce
4. Hot Sauce
5. Worcestershire sauce
6. BBQ Sauce (K*raft original brand was used)

To make the sauce- just mix the above ingredients to taste. I used more ketchup/bbq sauce, a dash of light soy sauce, and worcestershire sauce, a few drops of hot sauce, and just about 1/2 tsp. of dry mustard.


Monday, February 8, 2010

Simply Tired

Dear Mr. Obama,

I am tired. Tired of being tired. Tired of watching you campaign when you are already in the White House. I am tired of hearing empty promises that you have no idea how to keep- let alone any chance of keeping them. Please, go back to the White House. Start your job already.

I am a highly qualified teacher under the rules of NCLB, yet I can't get a teaching job for anything. I'm trying. I have a child to support and no income. Why? I chose to teach. A profession that I thought would never have such layoffs.

We, as a country, are suffering from the worst economy since the great depression, unemployment rates are reminiscent of the 70s recession, I can barely afford health care for myself and my child, and your number in the polls are slipping. Democrats still outnumber Republicans 3 to 1 in Massachusetts, yet a Republican won the Senate seat. Are you paying attention yet?

No. You focus on your numbers in the polls. Stop campaigning. Please.

How about health care reform... couldn't we just start slow? Let's reform what is already in place. Make it illegal for insurance companies to deny benefits based on pre-existing conditions-- my brother for example can't get insurance because he's a diabetic. This is wrong. Make it illegal for them to gouge the prices of insurance for few benefits.... I pay almost $500 a month for insurance and have a deductible so high I'd almost clean out my little savings if something horrible happened. Then, only 80% of my bills would be paid.

How about education reform? I have so much to say on this and a lot of it isn't for public reading. Let's open up jobs for teachers again. I want to work. I love teaching. However, no teacher can do their job when all that is expected are high test scores. Children are variables, not robots. They are "more than a test score". Politicians need to remember that. We are doing the best we can with what we have. Budgets are cut, we are not getting money for programs, layoffs loom, classroom sizes are getting bigger.... but still- perform miracles. It doesn't matter that little Johnny spent last night sleeping in the bathtub because of the drive by shootings in his neighborhood or that little Molly went to bed hungry and came to school hungry because her parents lost their jobs. Perform miracles. Let teachers teach. Teach basic skills, teach children how to think for themselves, not "how to answer questions on a test".

Here's another novel idea.... How about bringing jobs back to the U.S.? Hasn't China screwed up enough- between lead, other poisonous metals, and killing our pets with tainted dog food- isn't enough enough? Stop trying to be friends and bring those manufacturing jobs back to our country. Our citizens need work. Let's have U.S. car makers actually make all our car parts in the U.S.

Let's not bail out the banks. Let's bail out the folks who are losing their homes because all the jobs are gone. Let's bail out education without so many strings attached so teachers can go back to work and teach.

Let's take a look at FDR and maybe create 'green jobs' similar to the WPA program. Look at the future- green may be our best bet. Let's teach people how to make green cars, wind turbines, solar panels.... just an idea.

Like I said Mr. Obama, I'm tired. Tired of being tired. Tired of being unemployed. Tired of watching you campaign. Simply tired.

Monday, January 18, 2010


Read this story: http://www.postchronicle.com/news/breakingnews/article_212278781.shtml

Okay, back? I am furious that this woman- who did not refuse orders- she asked for more time is being prosecuted and her poor child put into foster care. The thing she was trying to avoid.

Can you imagine her grief, anger, and anxiety at not knowing what is happening to her child?

There is no excuse for this in our country. Does the army fancy itself a communist Russia? Do what we say or suffer?

Why not give this woman more time to find appropriate child care? What commanding officer in their right mind tells a single parent to show up for duty so we can put your kid in foster care.

Yeah- I want my kid put in one of the most screwed up systems in this country. It's nuts.

I have no respect for the army. I commend the men and women who are doing their jobs in the army- but the entity itself has no cause to ask for my respect. It has not earned my respect for certain.

I can only hope that all the publicity this situation garners will help Spc. Hutchinson's case. We can all see who the enemy is here- and it's not Spc. Hutchinson.... it's the army.

Saturday, January 9, 2010


Today is so much better. I realized yesterday that I had a lump the size of a golf ball on my head, above my eye. It was also black and blue. I had hit it on the car frame the day before and am thinking maybe I had a slight concussion which made me feel so crappy... not sure- but after a good sleep I'm much better.

Making beef stock and vegetable beef soup today (if I have any frozen veggies in the house).

Saw the 20/20 show on David Goldman last night. It was a good update.

Okay- I'd better head off, a lot of stuff to catch up on today.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Does anyone even care?

I, personally don't give a sh*t about this. Do you?

Peter Orszag, the budget director of the White House has declared that he is the father of Tatiana Zoe, the daughter of Claire Milonas, the Greek shipping tycoon. This Read more: http://www.thaindian.com/newsportal/world/peter-orszag-admits-having-a-daughter-with-ex_100300906.html#ixzz0c2RxNeOl

Why the f*ck should I care if he knocked somebody up? Why should anybody care if this kid is his daughter?

Yes, I'm in a pissed a** mood today.

The fact that it's 11:22 and I haven't eaten since getting up might be part of it. The fact that the stupid chicken is in a pot ready to boil for soup is the rest of it. I'm not planning on eating it though. I just couldn't figure out what else to do with the stupid chicken. I feel like I've wasted a cut up bird in soup.

Oh, and to top off my morning- I had to stop my laundry so somebody else could take a shower. I hate living here.

Wish this was newer

I recently found this article http://edition.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/asiapcf/12/18/anna.he.adoption/

about Anna Mae He. It's from last year and I only wish I could find a newer update.

After watching the drama unfolding for David and Sean Goldman, I started thinking of this little girl again and hope that she's doing a little better than she was last year at this time.

Taken out by a chicken

This morning has to be one that makes no sense. Despite the fact that we have new snowfall out the wazzu- there was only a 2hr school delay. Okay- I can live with that considering my Pipsqueak doesn't have to ride the bus.

However, after she left (my dad takes her to school) for some reason my world collapsed. Over a chicken. Yup, a chicken.

I had put in the first load of laundry and was getting the soup pot ready for the chicken. My plans had been to make chicken noodle soup today. Easy, simple, and perfect for this weather.

I bought 3 chickens yesterday at the butcher. Two were cut up and 1 was a small, whole (under 3 lbs) bird perfect for soup. Somehow I managed to thaw out one of the cut up chickens.

The thing is my mother noticed I had this cut up bird thawing- why didn't she say something to me? I'm really bothered by this for some reason.

Why is it such a big deal you ask? I don't like to use cut up chicken for soup. I know, technically, it's the same as a whole chicken- but I just don't like to do it. I won't do it. Therefore, I have no idea what to do for dinner or with this stupid cut up thawed chicken. We had baked chicken for dinner 2 nights ago- I'm thinking nobody wants it again.

That's when I lost it. I mean lost it... tears, anger, wanting to throw the daggum chicken out the window. I'm not sure what's wrong- but I am certain most of this emotion really isn't about the stupid chicken. It's about the fact that I still haven't found a job, that I feel trapped, and that my poor kid is growing up this way.

Yes, extended family can be a good thing. But we aren't the Waltons and I don't want to live here anymore. I want out. I want a job. I want my life back. I want my kid not to have memories only of what she was never able to do, but of fun things too. Right now, I don't know how many of those 'fun' memories she has that will include me.

She told me the other day that I never smile anymore. She's right. It takes a lot to make me smile and I am having a hard time not being serious all the time. Part is my personality, part is the overwhelming feelings of not having my life where I want it.

Anyway, if anyone still reads here- any chicken ideas will be welcome since I don't have a flipping clue what to do with this one except to cry about it.